So what's next for our man M.S.S.?
Well, if he turns down our movie offer and assuming he's not, y'know, dead
or anything unfortunate like that, we have some suggestions and so do our
(sent by Kurt Makse)
The Infidel dog Dumpty attempted suicide at the wall,
however, all the Kings’ horses and men were able to put him together
again. The spider is crushed by Miss Moffat’s Shoe. She is not scared
and nor should you be my friends. Do not believe the lies of the bastard
dish. He did
not run away with the spoon. There is no spoon! The cow is stuck on the
moon; soon her stomach, ribs, rumps and sirloins will be roasting! The
beautiful pea green boat is not worth an old shoe. Girls who do not cry
and, wish for more kisses besiege Georgie Porgie. The boys have not come
out to play and we had not anticipated this. Jack is safe, he has a pail
of water and his crown, praise Allah, remains unbroken. This was a lie
spread by the prostitute Jill. I triple guarantee you Baa Baa Black Sheep
has no wool. Never! I blame the master, his dame and the little boy who
down the lane; they are marketing for the blood sucking bastard sheep!
The mouse remains surrounded in his clock, which has struck two. He is
most welcome. We will butcher him. Hans Christian Anderson and the Brothers
Grimm are stupid (dramatic pause) and they are condemned.
(sent by Bud Rose)
(sent by Craig)
(sent by Jim Florida)
(sent by Stephen. McCaslin)
(sent by Sean Thomas)
(sent by Juliette)
We will kill them all........most of them... That would
(sent by Jack Dickson)
"Daniel-San, do not listen to the infidel
Miyagi. You are wise to follow my genius. There is no wax, and there never
was! The crane stance
is for puny minded infidels, this is my slapping shoe stance! You must
fear it! It was brought to us by the ancestor of Saddam-San...praise him!
The Cobra-Kai infidels shall be urinating themselves and committing suicide
outside of their dojo! I am not afraid of them, and neither should you
be! Catching flies with chopsticks proves nothing!"
(sent by M. Geiger)
(sent by Christopher G Gudukas)
(sent by Dan Reynolds)
(sent by Denis Lukianov)
(sent by Tonina Sambataro)
(sent by Thamer)
(sent by Linda Toki)
(sent by liquidskingomez)
(sent by Zeke)
(sent by John Kimball)
(sent by Eric Koepfle)
(sent by Debbie Hiner)
(sent by Roberta Niederjohn)
(sent by Buzz)
(sent by Eric)
(sent by Buzz)
(sent by Will and David Houchin)
(sent by La Viet)
(sent by Will and David Houchin)
(sent by Matthias M. von Loew)
(sent by Christopher Gudukas)
(sent by Dafna)
(sent by Bruce
(sent by vze3594)
We will kill them all ... most of them ... if they
are here... but they aren't. The infidels. The nasty,
sneaky infidels. We hates them, my precious. We taught them a mighty lesson,
yesssss. Their nasty sneaky mercenary stomachies will roassst in hell.
They can't take my precious away from Gollum, no precious. The WMD were
a birthday present for good Gollum. [shaking fist at the full Moon, with
a dead fish in other
hand] We hates them, those villainous louts, those mercenaries, the evil wild
donkeyss. They are sick dogs... and Gollum will place them in a quagmire, yesss
and destroy their tanksies, helicopters, and [dramatic pause] shovels.... Truly.
(sent by Leanne Tauck)
(sent by Ronnie W. Mathisen)
(sent by L.Gormley & A.McGoff)
(sent by Ian)
(sent by W. Vachet)
(sent by Allen Sherman)
(sent by Mike Jones)
(sent by SSgt Andrews)
(sent by Dan Whelan)
(sent by Jim Sullivan)
(sent by Dan Deloatch)
(sent by Carla Bauer)
(sent by Gregory Schmauss)
(sent by Simon Murley & Bjorn Tisander)
"Bugs? There are no bugs. We have destroyed
two bugs, two anomalies, and a misspelling. We have driven them back.
I guarantee you, there are no bugs in our software. Those who say there
are bugs, (dramatic pause) THEY are the bugs. All they tell
is lies, lies, and more lies! - Thank you for calling Microsoft support.
(sent by Richard Berry)
It is damned Imperialist lie that I
am a man! I was chosen by free and democratic vote of glorious
population of my country to represent
Iraq in Miss World! I shall win! All other competitors are
trapped at Baghdad Airport! The situation is excellent, I believe
their graves will be there!
(sent by Steve Bell)
(sent by A.J.)
(sent by Wong)
(sent by Lou Daniels)
(sent by Rene Thurston)
(sent by Will Houchin)
In a recent press conference, the newest and most kick-ass member of Def Leppard,
Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, announced that bad '80's metal is not dead, and has,
in fact, never been dead and will defeat ANY infidel liar with shoes and a wicked
(sent by Kasey Patterson)
(sent by Jeff Petric)
"Corn? What corn? There is no corn in Indiana!"
(sent by Anji)
"Impersonator? Hah, I am the King himself, Allah be praised.
I will slap you with blue suede shoe for these lies"
(pic sent by Ronald Law)
(sent by Finn)
Dear sir or madam as the case may be,
Permit me to introduce myself, i am dr. (Litt.d.,Saddam Hussein University
of public relations) Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, minister of information
of iraq. You may have seen me on cnn. The
progress of the war is so satisfactory, as several million infidel troops
have killed themselves at the walls of baghdad and allah is roasting
the stomachs of the rest in hell, that we see no longer any need for
I am writing you about a highly urgent and confidential matter. Our
president, the delight of the arabs and the saladin of the PRESENT
age, the honorable Saddam Hussein, places especial trust in your business
acumen and integrity and further has great gratitude for your staunch
support against the schemes of the infidels, whose stomachs, as i have
said, allah is roasting in hell.
He wishes to acquire your valued assistance in transferring the sum of
300 billion uSD, now held in one of his accounts in the peoples bank
of Turkmenistan, to an account in your esteemed country. He would
attend to this matter himself were he not now deeply engaged in appearing
at the many spontaneous celebrations of victory that have broken out
in our country, especially at the syrian border.
For your services in this matter, our president, following the traditional
customs of arab hospitality, will pay you a processing fee of 75%.
If you are willing to undertake this service for us, you will be made
an honorary citizen of iraq and converted to islam without further charge. Please
reply with all credit card account numbers, bank account numbers and
associated passwords as a sign of good faith.
I remain your obedient servant, at least on the assumption that you are
not an infidel, in which case, as your stomach is being roasted in hell,
it will be difficult for you to arrange the desired transaction.
dr. muhammed saeed al-shaf
Minister of Information
vice chairman, saddam hussein glee club
(sent in by Sam McCracken)
(sent by Graham Greig)
(sent by Peter R. Suhr)
the possibilities are endless...
(sent by Sam Smith)
(sent by Gary Jukes)
(sent by Chris Brandon)
(sent by John Connolly)
(sent by Rene Thurston)
(sent by Jennifer Welch)
(sent by Abbi Kruse and Antony Sosa)
(sent by Michael
"I said step-step-jump-slide, now try and get it
right this time you infidels!"
(sent by Joe Witt)
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